Cutting The Cord

I did it. I finally cut the cord. It was an extremely hard decision for me, I am so attached to the concept of cable, everything is all in one connection, one bill, one set of equipment, and everything I need and want on all devices, nothing hard, no playing with antenna's...That being said I realized that I really only watch a handful of shows and I am paying for a couple of hundred - cable is too expensive! 

Even though I did it already, I am frustrated. I only have 1 TV that is digital, and it's not a smart TV, and the other 2 are analogue. Also, I am trying the antenna route to get the local cable channels and I can’t seem to get a good reception on two of them CBS, and ABC, the two channels that I actually watch shows on! I have moved the antenna all over the room to no avail. I was told that something was blocking my way, really?!?!?! I guess I will have to buy a more expensive antenna and try that out - UGHS!

Even though I am frustrated right now I know in the long run that this will be the best thing for me. Eventually I am going to buy a smart TV and my own modem/router for the internet. Next month I am hoping to order SlingTV for $25.00 a month. Setting all this up is an expensive proposition, cheaper in the long run, but i'm hemorrhaging money that I don't have. Who needs to eat anyway? *Sigh*

So Far

What I Have Learned So Far This Year

I know it is only mid February but I have discovered several things about myself, some I already knew but they were pushed into the back of my mind.

This year is all about the catch-up for me. I have a ton of unfinished projects that I want and need to get done. As I have been pondering all these projects, I have also been pondering why I haven't gotten any of them done. If you are looking at my life from the outside you may wonder why I can't get anything done. I am single, my daughter is grown and out of the house, I do have grand kids but they don't live with me.

The main reason is I work full-time, so what you say you have nights and weekends! Yep but for some reason time just gets away from me. I had a three-day weekend this past weekend and I had all these grand intentions of getting so much done, and in spite of myself I did get a few things done, but time just seems to get away from me; friends called and wanted to get together, I ended up baby sitting for a few hours on one day, I had chores to do... My time is just not always my own.

But here are the important things that I discovered.
     1. I am not creative after work or at night - not sure why this is so but it is. And I always feel guilty for reading instead of crafting - I am giving up the guilt.
     2. I am not a "daily" person. I have 3 projects that I can't get into, 2 December Daily's and 1 Project 52. These type of projects are way too cumbersome for me. Yes we should cherish every moment, everyday, and the daily routine but I don't need a bunch of layouts detailing my daily routine, which is ROUTINE! I am going back to special events and special days. the cute and funny, or whatever just strikes my fancy at that moment in time. Besides I really spend my days "living" not stopping to capture.
     2a. A side note to number 2 is that my OCD gets in the way of "Daily's" If I miss a day or week it makes me nuts and then I just abandon the project. STOP! It's really ok to not be perfect!
     3. I have too many things that I enjoy and I need to figure out a system that works best for me. I don't want a bunch of separate books, journals, art pages. I want a system that keeps it all in one big bundle. When I find out what this is then I will be able to move forward.

All that being said, I am almost done with paring down my crafting supplies - step one in being able to move forward on my unfinished projects. Step 2 is to put old photos in order so that I can find the pictures I want and need when I am doing a particular project.

Ahhhh, knowing and understanding yourself is so freeing.

A Little Time Off

A little time off is great for the soul. It is amazing how much I can accomplish when I am not working. It's also amazing how calm and relaxed I can get when I actually have time to myself, time to do what I want, and time to get things done on my own schedule - rather than a schedule dictated by work.

So I took two weeks off this holiday season and mostly stayed at home. And the few errands I did, I did on my schedule. A luxury for sure. I have to admit that yesterday I had a bit of cabin fever though. Fortunately I was able to get together with a friend for dinner. Yum, Harney Sushi - so, so good.

I finally finished my "Week In The Life" album and I am quite pleased with the results. This was my first WITL album that I have done.

Sunday At The Farmers Market

Friday

Monday Back To The Routine

Also, being the OCD person that I am, I spent a lot of time researching, planning, creating, and organizing my planner. After spending months trying to find the perfect planner I decided to do a Midori style planner. It will hold all the projects that I am planning on working on throughout the year and I can customize it as I wish. I ordered my Fauxdori on Etsy from FoxyDori and the inserts from Yellow Paper House. I designed and decorated them myself thanks to the inspiration from theresetgirl. I am pleased with the results.

Love My Rondori

Some Insides I decorated

Reflecting On The Past

As 2015 comes to a close and 2016 begins I find myself reflecting on the past year and planning for the new year. The word I chose to bring into my life and work on for last year was "still". I can feel the change in myself by manifesting this word into all aspects of my life, even though I had limited success - still, I am not done with the word. And, Even though I am moving on to a new word for 2016 I will continue trying to incorporate this word into my life. I know this will be an ongoing process.

Choosing a word and setting an intention is a process in itself. As I am not perfect and as I am a work in progress there are so many words I have contemplated - words where I could benefit from by incorporating them into my life, peace, happiness, enough, reduce... The list goes on. Still I have chosen "trust" as my word for 2016. 

This is going to be a tough word for me. I simply do not trust. And when I do let my guard down I get hurt. For this reason I have thought abandoning my word before the new year has even started but I am not going to give in yet as I think trust is vitally important.

                   

Wish me luck!

Birthday Celebration

Celebrate The Past Year

My birthday is in a couple of weeks. I don't get excited by my birthdays anymore. I probably should, but I don't. My mom made my birthday special each year, and since she has been gone I just can't muster the enthusiasm anymore. This is not to say that others don't get together and celebrate with me, because they do. I have a wonderful family, and wonderful friends who never forget me - it's just that mom is missing.

I watched a brief clip of Dr. Christiane Northrup on Super Soul Sunday and what she said really resonated with me. She said, "we all have the power to start living agelessly. One of the first steps? Adjusting your attitude toward birthdays. I would stop celebrating milestone birthdays ... because the milestone becomes a millstone," she says. "In our culture, it says you're running out of time. You only have so much left." That's exactly how I have been feeling lately, like I am running out of time. Because with each birthday I think, "oh god, I am getting so old, I don't have much time left."

I only started feeling this way in the past two years though. I think two events in my life brought it home for me: the birth of my granddaughter, and looking for a job. The birth of my granddaughter because I know that I won't have a lifetime with her anymore, and the job because I am at that unemployable age - I have the experience and wisdom, but I also need more from my employer like health insurance and a higher wage. 

Sounds sad but there are also good things that have come about for me since I have gotten older.

I love that I am free-er to do as I please. I love that I don't care what others think of me anymore. I love that I am not worried about how I look all the time, that I am okay with not being perfect, that my friends and family accept me for who I am. And, I love that I am a grandma.

Dr. Christiane also said that in celebration of our birthday we should celebrate the past year, our accomplishments, what we are proud of - this would be a affirmation of our self-worth.

What a wonderful way of looking at birthdays.

My Gratitude Post

55 Things I am Thankful For 

1.    My family first and foremost. Laura, Kaylee, my new grand baby (Jaxon?), Shawn, Ron and Kathy. My family has gotten smaller in many ways but it has grown in others. The dynamic has changed drastically but we are there for each other, we trust, we love.

2.    My friends. Wow; I have known all of my friends for more than 25 years. I may not see them that often anymore but they are always there for me.

3.    Friends who will let me rant and rave then bring me back down to earth.

4.    Family and friends who know all my quirks and disregards them.

5.    Books. I love to read.

6.    My Kindle that lets me read in the dark when it’s 100 degrees out at 9pm at night. Okay, not 100 degrees but still too hot to turn a light on.

7.    My nose surgery, I can finally breathe, I didn’t know what I was missing all these years.

8.    QVC and easy pay.

9.    Blue skies and green grass.

10.The beach.

11.Sunblock.

12.The time I get to spend with my grand baby.

13.Cuddles.

14.My cat.

15.Common sense. I may not be up on world history or a math genius but I have common sense.

16.Television.

17.A job, it may not be ideal, but it puts a roof over my head.

18.Talented women in the scrap booking community that share their ideas with the rest of us.

19.Amazon – gotta love that you can get anything there and it’s delivered in only a few days for FREE!

20.Stomach hurting, doubled over, tearing up laughs, whether intended or not.

21.The medicine that is keeping me alive.

22.A doctor who cares.

23.My iPhone. I didn’t even want one and now I can’t imagine living without it.

24.Flowers, trees, birds, wildlife, nature.

25.Trader Joe’s. So much good, fresh stuff there and no big grocery store lines.

26.Having a car. Let’s me come and go as I please.

27.Living in a city where there are a lot of things to do.

28.Coffee and Italian sweet cream creamer.

29.My Keurig.

30.Duck butts. So cute sticking up out of the water.

31.Living in a free country. Yes, we are still free even though we have a lot of rules and regulations…and taxes.

32.Not being any older than I am because this list is too long as it is.

33.My creative side. It keeps me grounded and relaxed.

34.The camera on my iPhone. It’s always with me and I don’t have a real one anymore.  I do want to get one though one of these days.

35.The generosity of others.

36.Lip gloss. Can’t live without it.

37.Water. We are in a drought in California. Water is so precious here and nearly all that I drink.

38.Spellcheck.

39.Being able to pause before hitting send.

40.Knowing how to count to ten before responding.

41.Color.

42.Glue.

43.Blow driers.

44.Wen.

45.Blogs. How fun are they.

46.Book clubs.

47.Cookies. More specifically peanut butter Oreos.

48.Texting. Love it!

49.The UPS delivery man.

50.People who are smarter than me when it comes to computers and programs. Love the Geek Squad.

51.Paper. I still love the feel and textures of different papers. I love holding it in my hands and manipulating it into the form I need it in.

52.Diane Gilman Super Stretch Jeans. Phew.

53.Air conditioners. Remember the 100 degree remark?

54.Clothes. I mean really, who wants to look at nude bodies all day?

55.Life. Yes, life. It may not always be wine and roses but it beats the alternative.

Today

Today I Am...

Loving: My grand baby. I so enjoy spending time with her, taking her to the park, reading with her. I have started giving her little things from my craft stash to play with. She has already made mommy and daddy a few cards and pictures. She is almost 2 years old (20 months) and a hoot. I love her expressions, her constant babble - I wish I knew what she is saying as she has so much to say.

Not Loving: The time I spend at work. It's a necessary evil,I have to make a living after-all, but it seems like such a waste of precious time.

Drinking: Coffee in the AM and water all day. Really boring but I don't drink sodas or any surgery or diet drinks. No caffeine after noon, except on the weekends I will occasionally make an exception and drink ice-tea.

Eating: Crap! Nothing but crap these days. I need to stop this. I was doing so well eating healthier and getting my blood sugars under control, losing weight but for some reason I am continually stuffing my face with crap.

Watching: Castle reruns. Seriously there is nothing on TV these days.

Reading: A horrible book right now (boring, predictable, poorly written) but it is for my book club so I will try and muddle through - at lest it's only a couple of hundred pages. I may have to read a favorite author after this to get the bast taste out of my mouth.

Feeling: ANNOYED! Everyone is annoying me today. Does no one have any common sense? Does everyone think their unsolicited opinion is warranted?

Weather: Not happy with the heat and humidity generated from a tropical storm off of Baja.

Wanting: Oh so many things. How about several thousand dollars to begin with so that I can buy new clothes, shoes, make-up, desperately needed face care stuff, a new printer.....

Needing: A haircut, a pedi/mani, massage, all of the above (see wanting) Oh and a VACATION!

Wishing: I could figure out how to quit my job so I can take care of my grand baby and spend more time crafting.

Hoping: I can get out of my financial mess so I can reduce my stress.

Thinking: How much I want to go home right now.

Enjoying: My scrap booking projects. I am having so much fun working on "One Little Word" and "Project 52".

Loving: Life right now; Seriously!