Birthday Celebration

Celebrate The Past Year

My birthday is in a couple of weeks. I don't get excited by my birthdays anymore. I probably should, but I don't. My mom made my birthday special each year, and since she has been gone I just can't muster the enthusiasm anymore. This is not to say that others don't get together and celebrate with me, because they do. I have a wonderful family, and wonderful friends who never forget me - it's just that mom is missing.

I watched a brief clip of Dr. Christiane Northrup on Super Soul Sunday and what she said really resonated with me. She said, "we all have the power to start living agelessly. One of the first steps? Adjusting your attitude toward birthdays. I would stop celebrating milestone birthdays ... because the milestone becomes a millstone," she says. "In our culture, it says you're running out of time. You only have so much left." That's exactly how I have been feeling lately, like I am running out of time. Because with each birthday I think, "oh god, I am getting so old, I don't have much time left."

I only started feeling this way in the past two years though. I think two events in my life brought it home for me: the birth of my granddaughter, and looking for a job. The birth of my granddaughter because I know that I won't have a lifetime with her anymore, and the job because I am at that unemployable age - I have the experience and wisdom, but I also need more from my employer like health insurance and a higher wage. 

Sounds sad but there are also good things that have come about for me since I have gotten older.

I love that I am free-er to do as I please. I love that I don't care what others think of me anymore. I love that I am not worried about how I look all the time, that I am okay with not being perfect, that my friends and family accept me for who I am. And, I love that I am a grandma.

Dr. Christiane also said that in celebration of our birthday we should celebrate the past year, our accomplishments, what we are proud of - this would be a affirmation of our self-worth.

What a wonderful way of looking at birthdays.

My Gratitude Post

55 Things I am Thankful For 

1.    My family first and foremost. Laura, Kaylee, my new grand baby (Jaxon?), Shawn, Ron and Kathy. My family has gotten smaller in many ways but it has grown in others. The dynamic has changed drastically but we are there for each other, we trust, we love.

2.    My friends. Wow; I have known all of my friends for more than 25 years. I may not see them that often anymore but they are always there for me.

3.    Friends who will let me rant and rave then bring me back down to earth.

4.    Family and friends who know all my quirks and disregards them.

5.    Books. I love to read.

6.    My Kindle that lets me read in the dark when it’s 100 degrees out at 9pm at night. Okay, not 100 degrees but still too hot to turn a light on.

7.    My nose surgery, I can finally breathe, I didn’t know what I was missing all these years.

8.    QVC and easy pay.

9.    Blue skies and green grass.

10.The beach.

11.Sunblock.

12.The time I get to spend with my grand baby.

13.Cuddles.

14.My cat.

15.Common sense. I may not be up on world history or a math genius but I have common sense.

16.Television.

17.A job, it may not be ideal, but it puts a roof over my head.

18.Talented women in the scrap booking community that share their ideas with the rest of us.

19.Amazon – gotta love that you can get anything there and it’s delivered in only a few days for FREE!

20.Stomach hurting, doubled over, tearing up laughs, whether intended or not.

21.The medicine that is keeping me alive.

22.A doctor who cares.

23.My iPhone. I didn’t even want one and now I can’t imagine living without it.

24.Flowers, trees, birds, wildlife, nature.

25.Trader Joe’s. So much good, fresh stuff there and no big grocery store lines.

26.Having a car. Let’s me come and go as I please.

27.Living in a city where there are a lot of things to do.

28.Coffee and Italian sweet cream creamer.

29.My Keurig.

30.Duck butts. So cute sticking up out of the water.

31.Living in a free country. Yes, we are still free even though we have a lot of rules and regulations…and taxes.

32.Not being any older than I am because this list is too long as it is.

33.My creative side. It keeps me grounded and relaxed.

34.The camera on my iPhone. It’s always with me and I don’t have a real one anymore.  I do want to get one though one of these days.

35.The generosity of others.

36.Lip gloss. Can’t live without it.

37.Water. We are in a drought in California. Water is so precious here and nearly all that I drink.

38.Spellcheck.

39.Being able to pause before hitting send.

40.Knowing how to count to ten before responding.

41.Color.

42.Glue.

43.Blow driers.

44.Wen.

45.Blogs. How fun are they.

46.Book clubs.

47.Cookies. More specifically peanut butter Oreos.

48.Texting. Love it!

49.The UPS delivery man.

50.People who are smarter than me when it comes to computers and programs. Love the Geek Squad.

51.Paper. I still love the feel and textures of different papers. I love holding it in my hands and manipulating it into the form I need it in.

52.Diane Gilman Super Stretch Jeans. Phew.

53.Air conditioners. Remember the 100 degree remark?

54.Clothes. I mean really, who wants to look at nude bodies all day?

55.Life. Yes, life. It may not always be wine and roses but it beats the alternative.

Today

Today I Am...

Loving: My grand baby. I so enjoy spending time with her, taking her to the park, reading with her. I have started giving her little things from my craft stash to play with. She has already made mommy and daddy a few cards and pictures. She is almost 2 years old (20 months) and a hoot. I love her expressions, her constant babble - I wish I knew what she is saying as she has so much to say.

Not Loving: The time I spend at work. It's a necessary evil,I have to make a living after-all, but it seems like such a waste of precious time.

Drinking: Coffee in the AM and water all day. Really boring but I don't drink sodas or any surgery or diet drinks. No caffeine after noon, except on the weekends I will occasionally make an exception and drink ice-tea.

Eating: Crap! Nothing but crap these days. I need to stop this. I was doing so well eating healthier and getting my blood sugars under control, losing weight but for some reason I am continually stuffing my face with crap.

Watching: Castle reruns. Seriously there is nothing on TV these days.

Reading: A horrible book right now (boring, predictable, poorly written) but it is for my book club so I will try and muddle through - at lest it's only a couple of hundred pages. I may have to read a favorite author after this to get the bast taste out of my mouth.

Feeling: ANNOYED! Everyone is annoying me today. Does no one have any common sense? Does everyone think their unsolicited opinion is warranted?

Weather: Not happy with the heat and humidity generated from a tropical storm off of Baja.

Wanting: Oh so many things. How about several thousand dollars to begin with so that I can buy new clothes, shoes, make-up, desperately needed face care stuff, a new printer.....

Needing: A haircut, a pedi/mani, massage, all of the above (see wanting) Oh and a VACATION!

Wishing: I could figure out how to quit my job so I can take care of my grand baby and spend more time crafting.

Hoping: I can get out of my financial mess so I can reduce my stress.

Thinking: How much I want to go home right now.

Enjoying: My scrap booking projects. I am having so much fun working on "One Little Word" and "Project 52".

Loving: Life right now; Seriously!