2014 Is Not Starting Out Well
door·mat
: a mat that you put on the floor or ground on one side of a door so that people can wipe the bottoms of their shoes on it
: someone who is treated badly by other people and does not complain
- Merriam-Webster
How much crap does a person have to take before they say "ENOUGH - I am done being a doormat!"
Sure a doormat can be a pretty decoration, a welcoming acknowledgement to your guests; but a doormat is also something that is thrown out in the elements, tread upon, and used to wipe your feet.
10 days in and 2014 isn't looking so great. Maybe I am feeling this way because I started the new year sick, I came back to work from a vacation to a bunch of crap, and I am feeling down in the dumps about money. I am so tired of not getting anywhere financially and professionally. I am not sure where I went wrong but I did go wrong somewhere along the way. I work hard, I am a professional, and I am good at what I do but I can't seem to get ahead. WTF!
I can't give credit because I don't know where the quote came from but someone once said: "I have found that when I am at my breaking point of exhaustion, frustration, nerves, worry, fear, hopelessness, and being completely overwhelmed, that I have no breaking point. I have found that regardless of what the world throws at me, my repertoire of vocabulary does not contain the words "I quit." I am stronger, more resilient, more ambitious, more driven then I ever knew or gave myself credit for."
I am however at my breaking point and if it wasn't for the fact that it would be financially devastating I would quit! I am 1 day, perhaps a weekend away from saying "I quit! I am done, finished, finito."
Very well put, and it's very funny and sad how financial needs keep us down. I do agree with your suspicions of why your ends have frayed so quickly- it's adding insult to injury. The best advice I can offer is keep trucking through, take a deep breath over every thing that outrages you, and focus on what you CAN control, not what you cannot. You cannot change the actions of others, but the way you react to them can be changed. Energy used on things you cannot change is energy wasted. It's won't feel helpful, I know, but it is true. I pretend to be ignorant to a lot of things, but I am aware. I'm just not feeding any energy into it, because it won't help my circumstances. I don't like that i'm getting paid almost half of what I was once paid. I don't like that there is 0 room for growth for me. I don't like that I am not in a field I want to be in, that I have capacity to be challenged a lot more than I'm being challenged, that I am in a place in my life I never wanted to be. It's all in the back of my mind, but focusing on it will only make me.. well, like you lol. Time does open doors, as long as you keep looking for them. And seeing how my mom was in a similar situation- hated her boss, disliked her job, wasn't being used to her true capabilities, then was fired from her job; I know what the other side is. And it's not pretty. Being sick to death of your job, but having a job, is better.
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