Reflections

Reflection on the Past Year / Hopes for the New Year

As I reflect on the past year I realized it wasn't as bad as I thought at the time, there were a lot of bumps along the way, but there were many good times as well. I am surprisingly optimistic about the new year, especially considering my normal depressed state. But I have come to realize that I am not perfect, and that's okay - I am perfectly imperfect. Love this quote:

"I have too many flaws to be perfect. But I have too many blessings to be ungrateful."

I worked on my health last year with moderate success. I lost a good amount of weight, exercised a bit, and got my nose fixed; which cleared up my chronic sinus infections. Still, I am not doing as well as I had hoped with my blood sugar control, and I still have a ways to go to get my health back to where I want it to be, but because of my successes of last year I now know that I can do it. I am a work in progress - on a grand scale.

My precious grand baby turned one last September, she is my joy - my light.

My daughter is doing well after a rough year but I have high hopes for her in 2015. I truly believe that things are going to turn around for her. So proud of her, She's a great mother and a wonderful daughter - after all she puts up with all my idiosyncrasies... I am not the easiest person!

After a restful holiday vacation I found it really hard to come to terms with going back to work. I got a bit depressed on Sunday contemplating sitting at my desk on Monday and then realized that I have so much to be grateful for and be happy about, I am not my job, I am so much more. Is it the ideal job situation for me? Absolutely not, but for the most part it pays the bills and allows me a bit of freedom to "play".

Yes, I would love to be retired, I am a broken record when it comes to that phrase, but I do like the routine that my work forces me into. I get so much more accomplished when I am obligated to stick to a routine. Therefore, I talked myself out of my mood and hit the ground running on Monday morning - in a surprisingly good mood I have to say. 

I have high hopes for this coming new year. I am very motivated to finish projects and work on my health. I want to devote more time to my family and friends, while still maintaining enough free time for myself. I am okay with saying no, I am prioritizing my personal wants and desires along with my obligations. I am letting go - letting go of stuff that weighs me down; past hurts, past regrets, would'vs, could'vs, should'vs. I want to create more and just be.

My word for the year is "still". 

·       I want to be still so that I can listen and hear myself and my heart.

·       I want to be still so that I can stop rushing around so much – slow down.

·       I want to be still so I can create more peace in my life.

·       I want to be still so I can savor all the beauty around me.

·       I want to be still so I can reduce the stress induced chatter in my brain.

·       I want to be still so that I can accept that life is not perfect and that I have enough in my life.

·       I want to be still so that I can reduce the anger within me.

·       I want to be still so that I can happily accept what I may not want to do but should / need to do.

·       I want to be still so I have more time to create.

·       I want to be still to reduce; clutter, unfinished projects; weight; waste.

·       I want to be still so that I can be present in the now and celebrate each day.

·       I want to be still so that I can better observe and record.

Happy New Year - here's to a great 2015!